DarkOneSun…Independent Black Man…Period.


I became independent from black issues when I realized that most black people, men and women, are crabs in a barrel.  Now, I just discuss black issues from an objective standpoint, discuss what affects me, and move on with my life; as I feel like I have done enough in the past to enlighten black men; both young and old, through videos, books, blogs, and forums, about how to survive the breaking down process of the younger black men to let that go.  The goal was to make it so that the good black men that are younger can survive and get to their middle-aged years with enough experience to enjoy their middle-aged years with all of their faculties intact.


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My Other Web Sites To Check Out…

In addition to my blog, I have other websites to check out as well, for those who are interested.  If so, go there and sign up.

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Why I Will Never Allow Anyone To Get Up Over Me Again…Period.



You have to be wondering why I say this.  The reason why I will never allow anyone to get up OVER me again, is because I don’t want to wind up a total loser in life, or worse…DEAD.  Throughout my life, I have always been the type of person to let things go, compromise–which, I still do, when it is truly needed–if it can be achieved, and let people have their way, if it means keeping the peace.

I inherited that quality from my parents; who were, and are, good people…Overall.  I like being this way, but I learned that it’s not always beneficial to do so; when other people think that I should.  When it comes to other people, I have become very shrewd in who I allow to have their way in my life; as it has left me the loser in the exchange, in many cases, in my past.  It has also, in many cases, left me severely crippled; having to start over and over again from square one.  The people who left me in this condition didn’t give a damn about the damage they did to my life, one way or the other.

One thing that I have learned, is that I don’t care for most people in this world; as the only thing most people care about in this world, are their own lives to live.  Everybody in this world thinks that they have been done wrong, and that THEY are the victim.  They will complain all day long about how they have been done wrong, and turn right around and do the exact same thing to a good person who they feel like they can use to their advantage; many times, leaving that person with nothing at ALL afterward.

I have been through this scenario so many damn times with people, that I don’t hardly allow anyone in my life anymore; save close family.  Every damn body that I have tried to allow in my life, battled constantly to get up over me for an advantage, in a way that never came into my heart to do to them, until recently, only to leave me broken down to almost nothing upon departing.  I was always left having to start all over again, while these same evil ass people would go on as if they never even knew me outside.  It has happened to me, so many times with people, that I have given up hope in humanity as far as true brotherhood is concerned.  Everybody out here is out for their own aim at a good man’s expense.  Hell, if the only way I can have a friendship maintained, is if everything is at my damn expense, then I will just be alone.  Since I don’t use people, I just keep to myself period; so that I won’t end up investing into the same system that everyone else invests in, to get, and stay, ahead of other people.

No matter what happened, everyone I met tried to turn me into a damn caretaker for all of their issues, and these people proceeded to take all of the help that I gave them, and went to become a caretaker for everyone else but me.  In this world, it is supposed to be a world of exchanges, where people create a system of business and relationships that will eventually work for the good of everyone involved.  However, for some strange reason, most people won’t let me fully into this system.  I have always had to work 100 times harder than other people to get this barter system to work in my favor.  Or, to work for me period.  Every time, I have tried to invest in this society, people seem to get constantly indignant on the other end.

I have been working at such a high level of intelligence, in order to make what I have planned to happen, that I have broken the heavenly barrier in order to achieve my goals…Literally.  The last, and the final person that I allowed in my life, who I tried to be considerate to, and who I gave the way to, almost killed me; and that person was my ex-wife.

To this day, that woman is the most evil person that I have ever met in my entire life; who, upon divorcing me, and finding better for herself, became so damn evil in leaving that I will never, ever, allow anyone to get up over me again in terms of compromise.  Actually, I didn’t allow it, she accomplished it by not treating me like I was her husband in the first place; by holding secrets, plotting with her family behind my back, as well as lying, and cheating.  The people who do, most of the time, don’t give a damn about you at all when they leave your life.  The pain and tiredness that she caused me in that marriage, made me never want to get married ever again to another black woman period.

The only thing many of these people care about is getting their way, and living lives completely on their own terms.  I thought, that being my wife, at the time, that I would be able to trust that she wouldn’t treat me this way.  After all, it was HER who wanted to get married in the first place, and it was HER who pursued me not to ever leave her, only to get totally done in by this woman the minute she didn’t need me in her life anymore.

People don’t give a damn AT ALL about how their actions affect other people afterward.  I have learned not to trust people in this world at all; as almost EVERY person that I have ever met in my damn life seemed to be the same as my ex-wife in thought about life.

The bottom line…and I will say it again, the reason that I will never allow anyone to get up over me again, is because I don’t want to end up a total loser in life, or worse…DEAD.


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They’re Dying Superior…



Like Solid Snake, in the game Metal Gear Solid, who didn’t know he was superior to Liquid Snake in the end, many black men in America go their entire lives being superior and not even knowing it…To almost everyone in it.  In fact, many American black men are DYING superior to other people; under the guise of being labeled a worthless black man.



In the black community, there is a ritualistic sacrifice of killing the good black man; but not at my hand, type of practice that leaves many good black man dead in absolute disgrace.  Many of these black men are the ones that would create positive change in the black community, and yet these are the very same black men that end up being dissed by black women, hated by non-black women, alienated by many black, and non-black men, and routinely IGNORED by companies looking to hire employees.

In my lifetime, I have come across many of these black men out here; and many of these brothers have the hardest time making it in this society.  It takes genius being a black man out here, and many of the strongest ones that make it past all of the hurdles of white society, end up being destroyed by problematic spouses, who don’t understand what they go through; nor do they care.  Many of them end up being used to death by people all around them as well, who think they always have something to offer, while they offer them NOTHING in return.

Due to this fact, many black men wind up SURRENDERING their manhood on the chopping block to avoid being destroyed by the isolation, alienation, and outright HATRED that this society has for black men who show manhood traits.  This includes many black women as well; who HATE seeing black men who are REAL men anywhere around as well.  Hell, many of these women hate seeing it so much, that they won’t even allow a black man, who possesses a semblance of manhood, to even be a damn real man for himself to live.

Many of these black men, who are in fact, REAL men, end up dying superior out here.  The reason being, is that many people don’t want to reward black men who are REAL men, the perks that come along with being considered a REAL man; even when he ACTIVELY goes about trying to earn them.  The perks of being a real man, supposedly, are: respect in society, a good wife, a job, or other forms of respectable employment, with respectable wages.  Many times, when a black man tries to attain these things, he ends up being blocked, or beat down, in one way or another.

Real black men, in many cases, are blocked so damn much out here that many of them break down altogether period out here.  These men become the forgotten of the black community, and no honor is paid to hardly ANY of them that ARE this way.  It is truly a challenge for a black man who has TRUE manhood; as many of them don’t know any other way to be.  The challenge that many real black men have to face, is that they have to find a way to maintain their manhood, in the face of people who don’t care about you having any.

Many of these black men look around in absolute astonishment at many black men, who have chosen to surrender their manhood in white society, get rewarded with more women, more money, and in many cases, better lives to live.  Black women in America, don’t see any VALUE in many black men having manhood AT ALL.

Don’t believe me? Look at their choices.  These women think that the only group of men out there that have any damn right to POSSESS manhood are white men; and they will ATTACK, BELITTLE, and PUT DOWN any black man who has the same.  Other women will too.  Only to turn around and berate the black community for its lack of real manly men.  Many of these women don’t regret their decision to destroy black manhood until it’s too late.  They, as well as the rest of society, take part in killing masculine black men everywhere they turn.  Many black women who end up hating real black men, suffer big-time at the hands of other races of men behind closed doors.  Especially, when the fetish of being with a black woman wears off. They end up being dysfunctional, alienated from their peers,  full of problems, and many also end up being slutted out big-time behind the scenes by the non-black men that they chose.  Many of these women suffer in silence and embarrassment for their choice to destroy any black man out here who shows a semblance of manhood.

Unless black men are strong in themselves, many of them will die out here from the sheer frustration of not being able to fully get off in society with a good life to live.  This society will try to make it seem as if there’s no benefit to having real manhood.  However, there is. The benefit is the dignity of knowing that you are living and DYING, a real man; that people have to respect, even if they don’t want to.  Not to mention, real men are loved by God, while boys are eventually cast out of his sight.

Real men’s concerns are eventually heard by God, and they will get the help that they need to survive with no bad strikes against them.  Not to mention, they won’t have to wrestle with a guilty conscience that will plague them their entire lives.  They have nothing to fear; as they haven’t wronged anyone unjustly to hold such fears.   The benefits of being a real man, are: no guilty conscience, no criminal record, a good standing with society, clean living, and a decent standing with almighty God.  Not to mention, real manhood ENDURES.

You will be able to live life knowing that you always have more living to look forward to.  Other people who usually hate real black men, are usually plagued full of damn problems down the road.  Therefore, regardless of what the hell people think, I’d rather choose to be a real black man, than a boy who lives life in the damn fast lane, only to be a dead man walking with far too much of a dysfunctional life left to live.

If black men, who are truly superior, don’t learn to possess a strong sense of self-worth, and know it, they will be gamed out of their superiority by everyone and everything under the sun.  No one wants to see black men like this around.  You will spend your whole life slaving for the approval of others, and never get it; only to receive it when your ass is a damn rotting corpse in the grave.  Many people try to turn superior black men into the damn forgotten; and it is CRUCIAL that many of these brothers learn how to live.

In many cases, brothers like this never get breaks from anyone; and their manhood is put to the damn test so much by everyone, just to see how much they can take, that they wind up dropping dead; not knowing that they were actually superior to other people around them.  Like I said, many black men out here, are dying superior.

In order to put an end to this destructive trend, these types of black men must encapsulate themselves with a good life.  This type of lifestyle should affirm them with realistic positivity; as this society, including black women, and evil niggas, as well, are trying to snuff the manhood out of all of them.  It is crucial that these men learn how to live, or they will die if they don’t.

That is all.




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They’re Trying To Boy You Down To A Damn Early Grave…Period.



ArnoldAndWillis ArnoldandMrdrummond


Throughout my life, one thing that I have had to struggle with, was people trying to boy me out of my manhood.  Being a young adult male out here, especially, one that’s black, can be really tough.  It is a constant battle that involves dealing with everyone’s manhood issues against you, and how you cope with it.

I have always been the type of person who saw both sides of every equation, theirs and my own.  I had, and have, no problem admitting that I am wrong, and even giving the benefit of the doubt to people who are right.  However, one thing that I have noticed, is that many of these people who are coming at me with issues of manhood, aren’t even right at all.  For a good little while, I had a problem handling such situations with people; in which, I would react a little too slow at what they were trying to do to me…Boy me down.

If a black man, who is a nice guy out here, with any type of manhood about him, if he is not careful, he will be completely BOYED to such low-levels of manhood, that he will, eventually, be boyed down to a damn early grave.  It took me a good little while, to figure out how the world of manhood worked; as I have always been the type of guy who sought after God first. After attaining God in my life, around the very same time, my ex-wife, who didn’t think that I put enough effort into the manhood of this world, which is money, cheated in a marriage, and left me for a man with more, It really caused to do some serious adjustments when it came to my manhood.  Many of the changes that I had to do caused many people, including family members, not to like me at all.

I finally had to start thinking about MYSELF, before others, something that I had never done before my failed marriage.  I was always a person who cared about what people thought; too much, to the point where I couldn’t live my life apart from other people’s perceptions of me.  Not because I wanted to be this way, but because I felt like I had to; as I felt like my life depended on it–and in many cases, it did.  It took a lot for me to stop worrying about what people thought of me–even if it meant incurring a serious penalty to do so.

When my ex-wife left me for good, and I finally found God, I felt a boldness in me that I had never had before her abandonment.  I had no one to depend on; as she left me to totally fend for myself out here.  I prayed to God, and went through a call in which I was filled with such boldness that I finally knew what it was to stick up for myself, and live to make myself my first priority.

I finally began to realize that without money, you aren’t seen as a man out here period.  I started becoming more shrewd, in regards to my life, and the minute I did, my mom and everyone turned on me.  They didn’t like the change at all in me when I transitioned to real adulthood, and start boying me down, in order to keep me the same; a man who had no life of his own at all to live.  All though I had always handled my business, the minute I started to look out for number one aggressively, and want the same things that they did in life, they became threatened like hell by me.  Some of my close relative STILL can’t fully deal with me this way.  However, as long as I compromise, and keep the peace, it’s not much that they can say about it; when THEY are the same way themselves.

The same people who were boying me down, wouldn’t tolerate the same thing being done to them at ALL; and after a while, I begin to understand why they didn’t.  People who can’t reach full adulthood in society, won’t live successfully in it PERIOD.  If young black American men don’t understand what it means to handle their business, in a timely manner in their life, they won’t live long AT ALL period in America, or on this earth.  If black men don’t take their manhood seriously from youth, and start handling their business early on, which entails learning the skills that it takes to earn a good living, by the time many of them are 24 years old, they will be bums with no life to live at all.  The world will pass them by, and many of them will be dead by the time they are 32 years old.

I learned that you can’t let other people man up over you–whether male, or female–as, in many cases, they are doing it to turn you into a damn loser.  Or, to accept less than they would in life.  I learned to compromise, no doubt, but I will never let somebody rise up over me ever again.  If you don’t put an end to the boying down of your manhood, and self-esteem, people will eventually take you over period.  Or worse, make you so non-competitive, that you don’t stand a damn chance in this dog-eat-dog world.  Unless, they are trying to offer well-meaning advice, I will never allow myself to be boyed down, under any circumstance, ever again.

To keep from being a hypocrite, I don’t do it to others either.  Unless, I am in a position of authority, I don’t try to assume a position above anybody out here; as I hate when it’s done to me.  I seek a friendly compromise, or just leave people the hell alone.  I always make sure to defend myself instantly when I sense someone is trying to rise up over me in manhood, or womanhood, in a way that makes me a failure.

The bottom line is this: if black American men, allow other entities to constantly boy them down–e.g. African-American women, white men, foreigners, non-blacks, and even misguided black men–they will wind up becoming bums, or worse; as these people want you to do nothing but be a damn failure.  You will end up looking back, only to see them rise above you, laughing at you in the process with a much better life to live.  You only live one time, so the decisions you make better be righteous enough to look back with no regrets.  American black men need to pray a little bit, in order to stay right with God, and be aggressive about doing what it takes to earn manhood rights before it’s too late in this society; as nobody likes you in it.  Especially, American black women, many of whom really don’t care for you at all out here–from my personal experience.

Get it right…Or die period out here.

That is all.




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Black Men, Protect Your Self-Esteem…Period.


If it’s one thing that I have learned, is that without self-esteem, a man can’t live period. There are so many things that can chip away at a black man’s self-esteem, that it is a miracle that you see any walking around PERIOD with any manhood remaining.  Most people, out here, feel like the average American black man doesn’t have the right to walk around with self-esteem, or manhood, and will go out of their gotdamn way to let you know it.

It is a tough job being a black man in this country, and protecting your self-esteem is PARAMOUNT to being one.  Women of all races take part in emasculating you, men as well, and many black women out here, knowingly, and unkowingly, can put the final stroke to your self-esteem, that can cause you to give up entirely on life itself.

It is very crucial that good, and decent, black men in America, become very critical of the company you keep; as many people around you are snakes, waiting for the perfect time to prey upon, and destroy, any well-meaning black man out here who is doing good for himself.

Many people out here hate to see a black man happy with his life, with high self-esteem, and they may take shots at you to lower it; as they can’t figure out why a “ni@@a” has least bit reason to be happy out here.  They can do it for any reason, making you a target for scorn everywhere you turn.  Especially, if they feel like you are doing BETTER than them in life.  They are only FINE with you, if they are doing better than YOU in life, in many cases; not the other way around, and many black women feel this way about you as well out here.

I learned to protect my self-esteem big-time, after it almost got LEVELED by a damn cheating wife, who laid into me about manhood issues.  I had to go through radical changes as a result of the person that I married, and I will never let someone hurt me like again.  She betrayed my trust, as well as my self-esteem, and went in on things that I never thought that she would.  The woman that I married was black, and I will NEVER go there again, as a result of it; as she knew that I had issues with many of them going in when we met.  My trust was so betrayed, that I will NEVER forgive her ass for what she did.

From my personal experience, women, and especially black women, are potential bum-makers of any nice black man out here, and it is hard to figure out, who is on your side, and who isn’t; as many of them are enemies to you out here.  They tell you that you are the one that needs psychotherapy, only to find out, that these people can’t hold up at all like black men do under the shots to their weak asses.

Many people in this society have condemned black men to ill-treatment out here; as if it is your natural lot in life to take such abuse, and it’s up to black men to take such steps in order to not let what they do seriously affect your life.  Black men need to make sure that no serious slight goes unchecked; as it can bother you for years afterward if you let someone get away with mistreating you.

They need to make sure that they NEVER invite the wrong woman, or friend, into their personal life; as the damage that they can do to you can be devastating; as most people only care about themselves in the end–including many other black men out here.  They need to make sure that have peace in their home, and nobody causing them trouble in it; especially, an unruly spouse.

It is crucial, for a black man to keep PEACE in his personal life, or else, you won’t last long out here.  Period.

Bottom line: without self-esteem out here, the average American black man won’t last long out here period.




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Are Many Suburban Black Women The Black Man’s Enemy??? I think so…



As hard as it for black men to believe, and from what I have personally seen and experienced, I have come to the conclusion that not only are black women, as a whole, the enemy of black men out here, but Suburban black women are the most dangerous to black men out here.  These women are the ones that cause black men to have low self-esteem about themselves, when you realize that ANY, and EVERY, thing that they do is to attract, nurture, and keep the attention of white and non-black men.

After my terrible marriage to my ex-wife, I realized, that to me, many black women period, aren’t worth a damn when it comes to the black man.  The way that they treat well-meaning ones, the half-assed effort that they put into trying to make you happy, and take care of you, isn’t even worth the effort of pursuing one.

These women, in many cases, will never go the extra mile for you like they would for men of other nationalities, when it comes to beauty, grace, and good treatment.  To me, black women are so low in pursuing that I have, personally, given up on them entirely.  I have come to the conclusion, that in America, black men don’t have ANY group of women that they can, specifically, draw from.

These women are no better than women of other races in how they view you, and treat you.  Hell, in many cases, they are even worse.  The treatment from black women, in many cases, is sub-par; as many don’t even want to look the least bit desirable for a man that is black.  From my experience with my ex-wife, who was black, they don’t want to cook you good food.  They think that you don’t EVER deserve to get treated properly without a battle for head of the damn household.

They are too hard on you about looks level; constantly conning black men into believing that they are NEVER worthy of good treatment, no matter how hard they try, or what they achieve, based off of looks;  only to see these same black women turn right around and treat the average of white and non-black men with the regalness of damn medieval King.

Many of these women are mean as hell everywhere you turn, and have a damn attraction to white men that would rival a damn Nazi.  They NEVER like a black man who is the same in requirements.  Many of them are cold as hell, everywhere you turn, and will even discriminate against you in the workplace.  They are killers of the black man’s self-esteem all over the damn place with their BWE–Black Women Empowerment–garbage; as the only thing that these women are empowering black women to is destroy the lives and self-esteem of black men all over the damn place with their garbage.

They can’t stop bigupping other groups of men over the black man, knowing damn well that many of these men are no better–and many cases, even worse–in their treatment of black women in relationships.  They constantly advocate the wiping out of the black man in America, by mixing that is out of control on their end.

Many of them NEVER take responsibility of their share of the dysfunction in the black community, and NEVER will.  Many of these confused ass women have laid, and still lay with racists, that hurt, and hold back, many black men out here everywhere they turn.

They low down any black man, no matter how hard he tries, to the point he feels like everything he does is sub-par, only to find that many things that you have accomplished are, in fact, adequate, and sometimes even superior, to that of their non-black spouse.

Many black women NEVER let black  men know that they are good in anything at all; and it causes many of them to have low self-esteem.  I know, my ex-wife did the same thing to me.  Many of them don’t care about black men, or the black community, and they destroy so many good black men out here with their ISSUES, they should a damn hazard by the American black man.

Personally, I will NEVER deal with one of them ever again.   These women, in many cases, aren’t a help to you at all out here.  Hell, you may as well find someone of another nationality–if you can swing it–or be alone; as many of them that I have seen cause more trouble than they are worth.


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Silently Hated On By Other Black Men…Are You A Victim Of It?

I have been a victim of this phenomenon a lot in my life.  It seems like when it comes to dealing with other black men, many of them secretly wish to see me fail; many of whom I thought were on the same team as me.  These niggas are only cool with you when they COMPLETELY outdo you in every way; then they go from hating on you, to looking down on you.  Or better yet, they make sure to NEVER acknowledge you in any way that will give you any type of shine, hoping that you will DROP OFF and quit.  Then, after you are gone, they want to finally give you props.  PLEASE!!

I have been the recipient of a shocking amount of Silent Haterism from other black men for a while now; to where everything that I have done has been largely unsupported by the, so-called, brotherhood.  Many of these niggas are completely out for self, and they could care less about helping to bring up the next black man.  It has come to my conclusion, that DarkOneSun is disliked by a lot of the brothers who I thought that I was cool with.

Over the past two years, I have come out with many projects that were geared towards black men; and many of them have been largely IGNORED by the brotherhood; and they all know damn well about them.  I have seen many of these niggas support everyone but me.  At first, I thought that they didn’t know about the stuff that I did.  However, my stuff can be found all over the damn internet.  It doesn’t seem to matter what it is either; book, blog, forum, etc.  These cats seem to conveniently IGNORE everything that I do.

I could see if the projects were hidden from plain sight, but they can easily be found anywhere on Google.  I have looked on various websites, and have seen black men conversing on these websites in a way that’s laborious to them, all in an effort to keep from supporting my forum.  There’s no excuse, they all know about it.  At first I thought that I was, maybe, imagining things.  However, it appears that ole’ DarkOneSun is silently hated by many of the brothers that I thought that I was cool with.  While I support them, they NEVER support anything that I ever do.

In fact, they will support anyone BUT me, for that matter.  I have never been guilty of silently hating on another brother, like they ALWAYS seem to do on me.  Some of these niggas make me laugh, talking about how they are going to build, and all of that mess.  However, many of these cats have never built a damn thing besides a pile of rhetoric.  I also notice that many of these cats follow the women wherever they go; and do nothing but argue with them non-stop about the same old issues.

It seems like many of these cats are in a never-ending search for fame, and could care less about helping out other black men; even if there is no cost involved.  For the life of me, I am trying to figure out why am I the recipient of this mess?  I built a forum for many black men to speak on, and yet, these cats go anywhere BUT there.  I wrote a book for young black men to read, and get through society.  Yet, these young cats do nothing but send me PMs how to get through life, when I put it all in a book for the young heads to read.

Honestly, I am getting sick of many black men trying to get every damn thing for free.  They will help you out in ANY way, as long as it doesn’t benefit you at damn all.  One brother told me, one time: “How about giving away your book for free?” I guess that I am supposed to give away a damn 646 page book for free?  Yeah, they want the book, as long as I don’t benefit in ANY WAY from my own work?  I mean, how in the hell can black men ever do business with one another if they don’t want to support other black men’s endeavors?

With another group that I belong to, when my book was announced, the thread went all the damn way down to the bottom, and off of the page altogether.  Hell, I donated to their cause, and they wouldn’t even ACKNOWLEDGE mine.  I thought that we were on the same team.  However, they sure as hell don’t act like it anymore.  Along the way, I must have fell in ill-repute with some of the brethren; and I don’t have a damn clue as to what I did for that to even happen.

It should all be about trying to bring up other black men any way you can.  Especially, the ones who are trying to do things that benefit other black men; as a whole.  It looks like many of the brothers have let their egos get in the way of this happening.  It also appears that they HATE to see another brother succeed at all off of their OWN HARD WORK; and will SILENTLY HATE your ass into oblivion hoping that you eventually give up and quit.  They really kill the drive that many black men have in creating things for the benefit of other brothers.

If there’s one thing that I have never done is quit, and I will win this war.  I will be victorious.

That is all.


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Are We On The Same Team??

On one of the videos that I made about a week ago, I received a hateful comment from one of my subscribers that really made me think.  It happened in response to me changing my tune when making videos.  When I was talking about black women, it was all good.  However, when I started showing some of my hobbies which showed my suburban roots, this nigga treated me like I committed a damn high act of treason.

From the looks of the brother, it looked like he was one of these hood cats; like I really care about that.  It just tripped me out the way this cat flipped on me, simply because I changed the tone of my damn videos.  I got tired of talking about the same damn thing over and over again in videos; as I said everything that needed to be said, in my personal opinion.  Therefore, I switched to other stuff; as I was, and am, starting to evolve into a more well-rounded person.  The minute I did this stuff, many of these cats acted like I pelted their best friends with a damn dozen of Grade A eggs.

I strongly believe that many black men have a damn narrow view of what it means to be a REAL black man; and any thing that goes against their definition of it, makes these niggas angrier than “Shonuff” off of “The damn Last Dragon.” Man, stuff like that I don’t trip off of; because I know that I can handle myself, so I don’t have live a  damn lie of having a damn thug exterior while not being able to fight myself out of a damn wet-paper bag.

Therefore, I feel FREE to like whatever I want–that’s good–because I know what being a damn real black man is.  A Real Black Man, is a black man who is his damn self.  I am going to say it right now, this war that exists between Suburban and Urban black men needs to end; because, in the end, we are ALL black men; and there is no set definition as to what a damn REAL black man is.

The fact remains that a lot of black man are insecure about showing anything that makes them vulnerable; because they know damn well society pounces on black men that are weak.  Therefore, make sure your ass ain’t weak then; while being a well-rounded man.  Because, one thing is for certain, I am sick and damn tired of seeing these niggas out here looking like gotdamn reformed GI-Joe characters looking at other black men ready to do battle, while shucking and jiving around any other entity.  Fortunately, out here in Cali, I haven’t come across many black men who are like this.  Hell, they just shoot out here, I guess…LOL!!!

The South; however, you can’t touch your toes on the damn pavement of the street without seeing some musclebound nigga wanting to do battle.  I don’t miss that mess at damn all about living in the damn South.  I went through it in High School and afterward.  It’s always seem to be a never-ending quest amongst black men to see who’s the most man; that can wear you out.  You must always, and do mean ALWAYS prove you take no damn shorts that causes many black men to hide themselves completely from people; because no one wants to see that side of black men.

It causes many black men to be one-dimensional.  If any black man is different in a way that is perceived as soft by other black men, he will get his ass tore out the frame like “Kung Fu Joe” did in “I’mma Git You Sucka!”  When I was younger, I actually gave a damn about that stuff.  However, since I am older, man I don’t give a damn what these cats think.  I know that I can handle myself out here, with ANYONE Black, White, or whatever.

I am proud of the fact that I have the confidence to BE MYSELF as a black man, as many black men out here are nothing but actors, playing a constant role for the entertainment of society.  Black men need to cut that definition of what a damn real black man is, out.  Period.  Because whether you are Suburban or Urban, a black man is a black man.  Not to mention, many of these Skinny, String-Bean niggas in the hood can’t fight a damn lick; so how in the hell are they the definition of black manhood?

Suburban black men are just as manly as Urban black man.


That is all.

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I Just Want To Be Happy…

Throughout my life, I have seen very little happiness; as my life has been a damn difficult one.  Most of the things that I have gone through have been a result of things beyond my control.  In fact, I have spent most of my youth going through trial after trial, one bad experience, with only a few years of joy that I can remember; and that was high school.

Afterward, I went through a damn series of bad experience that literally wore my ass out.  I spent my entire youth fighting the best I could against a damn racist society, hateful people, constant illnesses, and a host of other problems.  During all of this, I have tried my best to make the best decisions so that I can look back and say, I did the best that I could; and from what I have seen, I have very little regret for most of them.  I can truly say that the things that I was going through WAS OUT OF MY CONTROL.

Therefore, I am pleased with the way that I handled them; as I tried my best to keep on going.  However, throughout this whole ordeal, I have experienced very, very, little happiness; as I have spent my damn entire life FIGHTING my ass off just to get through it.  For a long time, I thought that I would NEVER be able to have any joy in life, and the reasons for that prove to be many.  From having a damn turbulent childhood, to going through gobs and damn gobs of racism from being a black man, from battling depression, to dealing with chronic pain, and last but not least, from overcoming the abandonment of a spouse.

The thing that keeps me going is the damn hope of being happy, and getting REST from all of the things that I have gone through.  To me, happiness is like a damn rare gem that I can’t get my damn hands on; as it proves to be elusive as hell.  My whole life, I have been waiting for my time to come, and now, I finally think that it’s coming in for me.  For the first time in my life, I am starting to be happy; as I feel like a damn ominous cloud has been lifted off of my life.

In spite of everything, I have tried to position myself in a way where I could begin to enjoy my later years, and I am happy that I have done so; as it is about time for me start living, and I already am in the process of doing it.

That is all.

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